“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit” — E.E. Cummings
As we get older, we realize that nothing lasts forever. It’s not depressing but it does make moments more intense. We take so many things for granted as it is our human nature to be selfish. I have never thought of it this way but what if this was it? What if we do something and it is that last time we do it? When it’s our time to go, it’s our time to go. If the world ends, do we have any regrets?
I am still struggling with a feeling of guilt and my therapist questions why I still think this way…. And again I answered with “I Don’t Know”
I also mentioned how I feel like less of a man because I am currently not working but again she had a rebuke…. Not many men can own up to mental illness and not many people would have the courage to deal with it so openly. I guess this is true. One day, I’ll look back and be proud of what I’ve done for myself.
There have been some opportunities on the horizon and I am hoping something pans out soon. I do have a good feeling about it but I’ll celebrate when it actually happens.
Today, Addy and I sat outside watching the storm approach us. We listened as the thunder rumbled in the distance. We watched as the sunshine slowly disappeared and the storm clouds darkened the sky. My poor beagle was pacing as she hates storms. But Addy and I…. we even stayed outside until it was raining on our heads. I will remember this day, as simple an afternoon it was… it’ll be another memory to cherish and smile about one day… My inquisitive little daughter asking the most adorable questions about rain clouds and storms.
It was a good day after all.
TW