Rain Clouds

“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit” — E.E. Cummings

As we get older, we realize that nothing lasts forever. It’s not depressing but it does make moments more intense. We take so many things for granted as it is our human nature to be selfish. I have never thought of it this way but what if this was it? What if we do something and it is that last time we do it? When it’s our time to go, it’s our time to go. If the world ends, do we have any regrets?

I am still struggling with a feeling of guilt and my therapist questions why I still think this way…. And again I answered with “I Don’t Know”

I also mentioned how I feel like less of a man because I am currently not working but again she had a rebuke…. Not many men can own up to mental illness and not many people would have the courage to deal with it so openly. I guess this is true. One day, I’ll look back and be proud of what I’ve done for myself.

There have been some opportunities on the horizon and I am hoping something pans out soon. I do have a good feeling about it but I’ll celebrate when it actually happens.

Today, Addy and I sat outside watching the storm approach us. We listened as the thunder rumbled in the distance. We watched as the sunshine slowly disappeared and the storm clouds darkened the sky. My poor beagle was pacing as she hates storms. But Addy and I…. we even stayed outside until it was raining on our heads. I will remember this day, as simple an afternoon it was… it’ll be another memory to cherish and smile about one day… My inquisitive little daughter asking the most adorable questions about rain clouds and storms.

It was a good day after all.

TW

Globe of Light

Prepare your mind, get yourself in a relaxed state…. Close your eyes…

Once you are feeling relaxed and at peace, imagine that you can see a violet globe of light about the size of a grapefruit suspended just above the top of your head.  Imagine that this globe of violet light is luminous and semi-transparent.  Now see this glove of light begin to rotate… as it turns, it picks up any tension in or near the top of your head.  Just imagine that as this globe of light turns above your head, it continues to absorb any tension you feel in your head.  It is also picking up any racing, extraneous thoughts, allowing your mind to slow down and become calm. Keep imagining this until that area feels completely relaxed. Pause.

Now imagine that there is a luminous sphere of light, whatever colour you find calming, and this light is an inch or two in front of your face.  The sphere begins to revolve slowly, as it turns… it picks up tension and strain around your eyes.  Continue to see this globe of light turning in front of your face as it is still absorbing the tension from around that area. Pause.

Imagine the globe moving down to a spot an inch or so away from your neck and as it settles in that area it begins to slowly rotate picking up tension and constriction in your neck.  The longer it continues to turn, the more negative feelings it absorbs. Pause.

Now move the globe of light down to your chest which is level to your heart and again allow the sphere to rotate slowly while it picks up the tension in that area… The longer it continues to revolve, the more tension it can pull out of your chest. Pause.

Finally, move the globe of light to the area of your abdomen right below your sternum.  This is the place in your body where you’re most likely to experience feelings of fear or hurt.  Make the globe of light very luminous and pick the colour for your hurt or stressful feelings from the area of your solar plexus.  Just continue seeing the globe rotating right above that area allowing it to pick up any tension, stress, or emotional discomfort you happen to be feeling there.

Now let go of the globe of light and imagine your body bathed by luminous, golden white light.  Imagine that this light enters your body at the top of your heard as it flows down your neck, your shoulders, arms, your hands… chest… abdomen, your hips, thighs, calves… and your feet.  Allow this light to enter and fill every single cell of your entire body…. and as it does, just relax more and more.  You’re experiencing this as a very soothing, comforting light.  As it spreads through your entire body, it brings a sensation of comfort, calm and deep relaxation.  It allows you to feel very much at peace….

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This would obviously work alot better if you had someone dictate while you are laying there with your eyes closed.  These visualization exercises have been great.  It just slows your mind and body down after a hectic day…. It’s like a warm cup of tea on a cool, brisk evening as the sun sets… you can feel the last rays of sunshine massage your face….

 

TW