This past week I started weight watchers, I also took on a 21 day exercise challenge of which I wake up every morning at 6am and do different functions. Day 1 100 push-ups, day 2 100 sit ups, day 3 100 squats, day 4 500 jumping jacks and 10 burpees. I continue this for the duration of the challenge. I was hurting all week, limping around at work, but felt a great sense of accomplishment. I haven’t been active for months and the combination of exercise and a diet has got me on track with my physical well being.
I was determined to have a great day with Addy and it started with her joining me while I did my morning regimented exercises. We let mommy sleep in for once while we headed to the park this brisk morning. I’m working on expanding Addy’s imagination so we play I spy with my little eye alot. It’s so awesome that she’s at the age where we can finally have real conversations and they are actually pretty enjoyable. Kiddo is hilarious. Then we headed home for a nice breakfast at home. It was so damn nice to actually stay in all day… Well we were outside in the backyard quite a bit and enjoyed the beautiful weather. What a great day off.
September is coming to an end…
It is also suicide awareness month and I have yet to post about it. It is a very tough topic for me to write about. I cannot say I’ve never thought about it. But I can say I got the right support when it was crucially needed, my close friends and family were there when I needed them. Pride means nothing if a person isn’t around to worry about themselves.
Dark thoughts are exactly that, JUST THOUGHTS. It is the bad part of your brain, the bad conscience. The little devil that sits on your shoulder whispering lies until you start believing they are true. What people on the outside don’t realize is that we who suffer from depression cannot help ourselves when we are deep in a cycle. We might have good intentions and look semi ok on the outside but it takes one bad thought, that one trigger and things can end badly.
This is hard….even to type out on my phone….. the wave of emotions…
I chose life. I chose my wife. I chose my daughter. I chose my family. I chose my friends.
That was my choice. This is my life.
I thank everyone (who knows who they are) that have been there for me. It’s so cliche but it’s true… It’s the little things in life that make a big difference in this horrible world we live in.
We can either sit on the sidelines and feel sorry for ourselves, or we can do something about it. Open up. Help others open up. Be the better person and sift through the negativity, emerge as a light this dark universe.
Hug your dog, hug those closest to you. Message that friend you haven’t talked to in awhile. You never know when and if it’s the last time you have a conversation with them.
The suicide prevention line in Ontario is 1(833)456-4566.
Have a plan in place. Have a support group in place. Don’t make that decision alone. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.